Bangkok Blues

Please come inside, Nice suit for you.,
originally uploaded by claudius_maximus.

I would like to preface the following rant with a disclaimer: I Love Thailand. And Thai people... I can't stand Bangkok. I am officially sick of the big city backpacker scene and I now know what my college professor was talking about when he told us about "Self Indulgent Backpacker Ghettos." Every one of these "Ghettos" has:

17 cutrate tailors, "My friend , my friend. Please come in side have a look. Nice suit for you.";

A bunch of pirated cd/dvd/vcd/software/videogames, all for about $3 a pop. Each one trying to "out music" each other with their loud Jack Johnson which is, by the way, so over played out here that i wanna flick myself in the eye every time I hear it now (with so much good music in the world why do we have to listen to the same thing over and over and over and over... 'flick' "ouch!");

About 12 stations with various colours of hair to get your own real (really fake) Dreadlocks so you can be different like everyone else here (about one in five people here have them, or just got them, or are about to get them as soon as their hair grows out);

Various noodle vendors, "Meat on stick" vendors, clothing vendors hawking immitation brandnames , Fried Insect Vendors (I highly recommend the grubs);

Bucket Vendors, who will sell you a bucket full of Ice, Songsam Wisky, Coke, and Redbull. A combination of fluids whose chemical makeup can make normally sane people (some, not all are sane to begin with) turn into screaming, raving lunatics who swing flaming fireballs on a stick amid a crowd of people;


Tuk Tuk Drivers at every corner, "My Friend, My Friend. Where you going? Where you from? That place is closed for "Special Thai Holiday" Come with me to my friends jewelery store for special happy hour deals on gems. My Friend, My Friend" Aarrrrgh!

John Denver said it best,"Country roads, take me home, To the place where I belong"


Once again, I love Thailand but can't wait to be in the Jungle.

Claude